Sunday, April 6, 2014

Oilei na bula...ALSO HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA

Right now I'm just crying and stuff. 
Why?
A few reasons.
1. I am not home for my mama's birthday. I don't even care about my birthday. I don't even really care about myself. (I'm twenty now? What? I've been lying to people about my age for so long that it doesn't even matter...) I just wish I could be there for my mama. Because she is my best friend. I hope you all know how wonderful she is. How much of a good example and influence she has been in my life. I miss her so much, but I can feel that we will see each other soon. The mission goes by so fast. 
2. I got in another stupid argument with our DL. Let me tell you, it has been awhile since I have had such a hard time communicating with someone. I try to joke around, he tries to joke around, and the whole thing turns into a big misunderstanding and he won't talk to me except to fulfill his duties as a leader and all I want to do is go and humble myself before him and beg his pardon for my imperfections, but of course I am tongue-tied and don't know how to express that. I'm so sick of myself. I want to go hide my head in the sand. What was the misunderstanding about this time? I don't even know. Something stupid and trivial. But the thing is, Elder Pence is a really good man and I respect him so much and I don't want to be on bad terms with him. I just don't even know. But don't worry, I'll find the guts to talk to him. Oilei na bula. 
3. Tima is really sick. Today we skipped out on studies (judge me all you want, RM's. I care not) so that we could go to her house (her tiny tiny tin house) and care for her. Rub her feet with coconut oil, make her drau ni moli (lemon leaf tea), fill her hot water bottle every time it started to cool, read the scriptures to her, sing to her, listen to her talk about Sister Vasu and how much she misses her. I cried. This poor tiny little lady. She is miserable. It took a lot to leave her and come email. But how could I skip emailing this week? At least she was sleeping. We'll go check on her later today.
4. Guess what, I got transferred. Well, I will be transferred on Wednesday. On my birthday. Happy birthday to me. Missionary life, man. I tell ya. Where to? Nasinu. Back to Suva I go. I will be in the same zone that I was born in, the same zone as Sister Kumar, Sister Crowell (from my intake), Sister TRAMMELL, and ELDER HARETUKU. However, my poor daughter Sister Eneri that I am leaving behind. She cried when she found out. We have become so very close. I will miss her so very very much. She has been such a comfort and blessing to me. She just barely finished her training, and now she'll have to lead the area for awhile while her dad (Sister Mataoa from Tahiti) gets used to Lautoka. I know she can do it. She has been prepared. She is ready. This week we did a lot of finding in order to fill up the teaching pool here in Lautoka. Found a couple really good ones. So I feel as if I am leaving the area slightly ok? My new companion is Sister Uate from Tonga. I swear, every companion I get is a different race. First, Tahitian, then Fijian, then Samoan, then Indian, then Kiribati, now Tongan. Anyway, I'll be follow-up training her. I'll be her dad. She was in the MTC with Sister E, and I hear she is really cool. A 19 year old, the first companion of mine to be younger than me. So I'm excited for that. Man, it will be weird being back in Suva. I'll be able to see people (members, investigators, recent converts) from the beginning. Nasinu isn't IN Suva but it is NEXT to Suva. Like you know how LA is really made up of a bunch of cities that spilled over onto each other? Yeah, like that.
(I'M ALSO CRYING FOR JOY BECAUSE YOUR EMAILS REALLY TOUCHED ME.)

I am so grateful for the time that I have spent in Lautoka. It has changed my life. Honestly.
First, it was so hard and I hated it (living arrangements, they get to you...) I was so unhappy that I came THIS close to calling president and asking to be emergency transferred/go home. I lost a lot of weight because I had trouble eating. It was awful. I asked for a blessing. Elder Heath, who had just arrived to be our new ZL, gave me that blessing. I had asked for a blessing of healing because I was passing my depression and weight loss off as a stomach sickness, though really I just needed the comfort (I KNOW I'M A DISHONEST LOSER BUT WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE DONE?). But I guess the Spirit told Elder Heath otherwise, because that blessing was more about using the Atonement in my life to heal spiritual hurts than being healed physically. I can honestly say that it was a turning point in my life. I will forever be grateful to Elder Heath for that blessing. It helped me to overcome some great challenges, including some that had been under the surface for years. The Atonement is an amazing thing, and the greatest blessing that we have been given. I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ, for all the pain and the suffering that he went through in order to relieve me from my own pain and suffering. I am grateful for the difficulties that I faced when I first came to Lautoka that helped me to turn to him and come to know him so much better. He is my Savior and Redeemer. And I am so grateful to have been called to invite others to come unto him.
After that blessing, I was able to cope through that particular companionship until Sister Eneri arrived. And that was when a whole new wave of life lessons entered the picture. A whole new kind of refining. I was not suffering, but I was pushed farther than I ever had been before. Training a new missionary is not easy. You no joke get to be their mom. You worry about them, get frustrated with them, find joy in their accomplishments, curse their rebelliousness, and yet still love them with a mother's love. Ok maybe I just got lucky with Sister Eneri, but I am not lying, I love her like she is my own. And one day I will go to Kiribati and meet her awesome family who I feel like I already know. She is going to rock Lautoka, and wherever else she ends up serving. And when we come back to visit Fiji at Christmastime this year, I promised we'd find her and take her out to lunch at the ritziest place we can find.
I also want to mention a hard and fast friendship that I have made with the lovely SISTER MAUGA. She is a susu madrai Samoan from New Zealand who is seriously my kindred spirit. A bosom buddy. She is one of the Lautoka 2nd sisters. Me and Sister Bechu hosted her when she first came to Fiji, and she was awesome then, but now that we have been in the same district for awhile, we have grown ridiculously close. We talk about deep doctrine and whatnot, and she's a bad as missionary (not cussing here, it's a New Zealand phrase). I wish her all the best. She promises to take care of Sister E for me and that ONE DAY we will be companions. But we always joke that President will never put us together because we would screw up the statistics because of just HOW SUCCESSFUL we would be. 
Also. Another thing that Lautoka has done for me. I have asked a few Fijians about my language skills, and they tell me I can speak it. It may not be pretty, but it is understandable. Heck yeah. Never would have happened in Suva, the sisters over there mostly only speak English (WITH SOME EXCEPTIONS NAMED SISTER TRAMMELL WHO IS THE BOMB, AND SOON ME BECAUSE I AM DETERMINED TO CONTINUE POLISHING MY FIJIAN GOSH DANG IT).
Isa Lautoka. Au na mistaki koya. 
Wednesday is just another day. Don't worry about me. I love you people. SO so so much. And mama, don't worry. A snailmail will soon be reaching you.
Vakabauta,
Sister Wright

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